Movie review: Hotel Transylvania (2012)

This summer you couldn’t drive for more than a mile without seeing a billboard or bus stop or bench with an advertisement for Hotel Transylvania 3 on it. For some reason I had never seen the first two, so I figured I would let this third installment take a pass as well. Then one day I saw a good portion of the first one on a Spanish TV channel, and it actually looked entertaining.

So why hadn’t I watched them before? IMDb had the answer: Adam Sandler. Now, if you like him and his movies, that’s just fine by me, but he rubs me the wrong way; I’ve never liked him or his movies. But, seeing as this was an animated film I figured I would only be exposed to half of him (his voice and not his image), and even that should be disguised since he is supposed to be Count Dracula.

Well, as it turns out yes and no. The character is drawn (in my opinion) to look somewhat like him, and even through the (very phony, but at least consistent) accent you can recognize his voice. What about the rest of the voice cast? I’ve at least heard of many of them, but know very little about most of them. Still, it looked funny on Spanish TV and it was directed by Genndy Tartakovsky, so I figured I would give it a spin.

Unlike my previous two entries, this review is going to be much more of a scene-by-scene recap, and therefore much longer. If I like the way it turns out, then all of my future reviews will be the same. If I don’t, then they won’t.

Continue reading Movie review: Hotel Transylvania (2012)


Movie review: Oblivion (1994)

This is a movie I was unaware of until fairly recently. As a matter of fact, it was this film that led directly to me watching Masters of the Universe. I first heard of this film due to RiffTrax. After watching the preview, I thought that this might be a film I would enjoy watching, so I looked it up on IMDb.

In addition to some notables names such as George Takei, Isaac Hayes and Julie Newmar, I noticed another actress named Meg Foster. The name rang a bell, but I couldn’t immediately recall who she was. I looked her up and realized that she was the actress with the freaky eyes from They Live (1988); I also remember her from Leviathan (1989) and Blind Fury (1989). Looking at the rest of her filmography, I noticed another little film named “Masters of the Universe (1987)“.

Well, I had been meaning to watch that film anyway someday, so why not now? So, that’s how I came to finally watch it for the first, and probably last, time. If you read my review of that film (ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha; sorry, the thought of anyone ever actually reading this blog made me crack up) you will know I didn’t particularly care for it. Perhaps that is why I went into watching Oblivion with low expectations but came out pleasantly surprised.

On to the recap! Continue reading Movie review: Oblivion (1994)

Movie review: Masters of the Universe (1987)

Several decades ago when I created my first personal website, one of my original intentions was to critique certain movies. And by “certain movies”, I of course mean “bad movies”. Well, I never got around to every actually writing about any movies, but I did post a small list of some especially bad ones.

Why did I never write any reviews? Any number of reasons, but primarily because I was too lazy to and there were a huge number (at that time) of other sites already doing it (and much better than I ever could have).

Well, when I started this blog one of my ideas was to finally start posting movie reviews. I never did because I felt that if I ever started, I would feel obligated to keep it up. Who would want to go to a site for movie reviews that only had a handful? I have since decided that since I hardly ever post anything here anyway, I might as well post at least one movie review. Seriously, who is ever going to read it anyway?

So what movie gets the honor of being my first (and possibly last) bona fide movie review? “Masters of the Universe (1987)” starring Dolph Lundgren. I chose this movie for several reasons. One is that I just watched it for the first time. Another is that it is a prime example of what I mean by a “bad movie”. Also, it is a super-hero movie of sorts, and they are really popular right now so maybe that might direct one or two people this way.

Now, unlike several other dedicated movie review websites that actually know things about the movies they review, I know nothing about this movie other than what I’ve read on its IMDb page. This will be true for any movie I review, with one possible exception. (That movie is only an exception because I know one of the actors in it.) Any facts I present will be common knowledge, obvious inference or drawn from the web, usually the IMDb page.

Continue reading Movie review: Masters of the Universe (1987)

Harry Potter

Nothing like jumping on the bandwagon a couple of years after it’s ridden off into the sunset. Today I would like to ramble on about the whole Harry Potter phenomena. For the sake of brevity and clarity, I will hereafter simply write “HP”. Even if you’ve never read any of the books nor seen any of the movies, surely you must have at least heard about him. (If not, what planet are you from?)

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Godzilla.  King of the Monsters.  Owner of the longest movie franchise in history (take that, James Bond!).  If you’ve never heard of him, you must’ve been living in a cave for the last 60 years.  Whether you’re a cave-dweller or not, I’m going to give you a little history lesson so that we’re all on the same page.  (Emphasis on “little”; I highly recommend reading the Wikipedia articles on both the character and franchise!)

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